I have to admit, I am having a really hard time writing this week.
While writing is often an escape for me, and a process by which I make sense of the chaos that is my chosen life, I am just not able to find my groove.
And that may be the lesson.
We are going through what is probably one of the most stressful periods I can remember. My husband just started a new job in September, which has come with it’s own trials and tribulations. He has a home office now, and lots more travel. There were some hang-ups with his contract, resulting in working without one for almost three months.
I quit working as soon as he started. Although I have had many people congratulate me on the opportunity to stay home full time, that was never my intention – which has required some fairly significant shifting in my identity as a professional.
And then we sold a house, bought a house, and moved. The “new” house is an “old” house, so we are learning about home ownership all over again. I am also learning about leaning on other’s for support and help. I am typically fiercely independent, and notoriously impatient. I don’t like people “in my space” – and I hate asking for help.
This week alone, we have had three painters, four well drillers, two delivery trucks, and a contractor. Tomorrow, we are expecting a full crew of carpet installers. There are piles of equipment and displaced furniture in every room of the house, a giant mud pit in the backyard, and dust everywhere. Last week, we had four visits from the furnace repairmen, a delivery of space heaters from a very sweet friend, and offers of places to stay until we got our heat working.
I have a bathtub in the garage, a toolbox in the bathroom, and a coffeepot on top of the dryer.
One thing I can say with certainty is that we couldn’t do this alone. I am unbelievably grateful for the huge support network that has surrounded us throughout the past few months. Friends and family have helped us move, loaned us equipment, offered advice, recommended products, and forced us to walk away for a little while for a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, and a strong network of professionals who have supported us through both the career and the housing transitions – from our realtor to the title company to my husband’s new team at work.
I’d love to share some words of wisdom regarding finding my center amidst overwhelming change and chaos. And I will, as soon as I find my mind. I am sure I put somewhere around here.
In the meantime, here are a few pictures of this week’s progress to tide you over.
The outside of “Beechwood” – our new old house!
First snow through the Living Room stained glass window
The beginning of our family remodeling adventure!
My calm amidst the storm…..